This Months Question:  Have you ever felt that you lost control of parts of your life, or that it is almost as if you are living with two different people inside you? Like in the movies when the actor is trying to make a choice and they have the devil on the one side and the angel on the other trying to influence their decision.

So when we are trying to change things in our lives like: our diet, our daily routines, our work ethic, our stress level and yet we fail over and over again; this is when the battle of the habit monster begins.

Example:  You set your date to start your goal and you feel super strong in your mind.  You are full of will power and remembering all the reasons why today is the day to change.  Then before you know it you are sitting with a friend and ordering that burger or beer.  You speed through the day unaccomplished and have no patience once again for your kids at home.  WHAT HAPPENED?  This is when it almost feels like someone or something else completely takes over your body.  No matter how much your mind wants it, your body and instincts do something totally different.

Guess what?  Something may have taken over.  One research study (PHYS.ORG) shows that once we get something out of a habit ( like the end reward) making us feel better that our neurons in the brain fire like crazy every time we get this reward.  However, when we are in the process of getting the reward (from point A to point B) our neurons stay quit ( like AUTO PILOT).   Just like when you drive home from work.  You remember getting in your car and you notice when you pull in your drive way but you don’t remember the ride home.

So how do we stay connected with our mind and body to be fully aware of what we are doing and ultimately make better choices?

Charles Duhigg (author of “The Power of Habit) says, “the important part to remember is that, When a habit emerges, the brain stops fully participating in the decision-making. It stops working so hard, or diverts focus to other tasks. So unless you deliberately fight a habit – unless you find new routines – the pattern will unfold automatically.”Charles Duhigg, “The Power of Habit” has a lot of good insight to offer.

SO…..

The bad news:  It takes effort on your part.

The good news:  It is possible!

What I say is: Awareness, Reward and Accountability!

Awareness:  You must be on alert when facing your habits so you don’t fall into running on autopilot.

Reward: You must create a new reward that is more desirable and stronger than the one you are receiving now.  Example: Instead of an ice cream sundae being the reward, the new reward is you fitting into your swimsuit.

Accountability: You must find a partner.  Mostly everyone has trouble changing when there is no one watching, no one to check up on them.  Find a gym partner, someone you have to turn in exactly what you ate that day, get a work buddy, get a sticker chart not just for your kids’ behavior, but one for you too showing them that big people need to work on themselves too.

Embarrassed of your habit so you don’t want to ask anyone to partner?  Go on you tube or google and put in your habit and look how many hits it got. YOU ARE NOT ALONE!

This Month’s TIP:  Don’t think how hard it is to admit that the habit monster got the best of you, instead think of how great you will FEEL when you take back control of your life.

www.coachvalentine.com